Election 2016: Which Criminal Type Do You Prefer!!


We all have personal views and preferences in all that we experience and do. I prefer not to have my pizza littered with garbage like pineapple and Mediterranean weirdness, others disagree. These preferences, surprisingly, extend to criminal activity. There are certain things we tolerate and others we absolutely will not. If you are a parent for instance, and little Jimmy, that great kid at heart you raised, has been caught shoplifting, you may now be of the mindset that shoplifting, while serious, is a minor petty crime forgivable in the new universe Jimmy created for you. It is not uncommon to forgive those close to us infractions we would not be so quick to forgive others. It is even more common to defend ourselves and our opinions by disregarding issues that should, and would, normally alter them.


It is thus with our current presidential crop. We have a veritable police beat of entertainment currently jockeying for position as we head to the respective conventions. We have the lightweight criminals like Marco Rubio who does not seem to like, or understand, the paying of bills or managing of finances. There are reports of the misappropriation of funds by the abuse of party credit cards. There are allegations of impropriety being tossed about regarding his time spent with David Rivera, a member of the US congress, who is under investigation for multiple misuses of funds.

Now, I will say, before this post goes to far, I am accusing no one of anything in particular until convicted. I am merely repeating the online assertions of criminal and/or questionable behavior if you are so inclined to believe.


We have Ted Cruz, also somewhat of a lightweight as politicians go, who failed to disclose a loan of 1 Million to campaign finance. But then again Cruz may have duped us all by claiming to be an American citizen. He is reportedly being investigated for this very thing as his mother is, or was, Canadian at the time of his birth, in Canada. This might be a larger issue I suppose. And while not specifically a criminal act yet, Cruz is known to accept endorsements from very very right wing entities and people that frequently speak on the need to murder in biblical fashion gays and lesbians lest they destroy the fabric of this nation. This is not technically a crime but it certainly sounds like it could shape up to be one, as murder, last I checked, remains illegal.

downloadNow we have the Trumpster. Under investigation by the IRS for some shady goings on with his taxes. That was a secret until recently. Knowing Trump his reticence to speak on the issue has more to do with damage to his ego than any particular wrong doing but, we cannot be certain. Also Cruz accused the Trumpster of ties with known Mob men. This should be of little or no surprise. For goodness sake the man builds things, he is God’s gift to building things he says. He builds some of these things in New York and New Jersey. When you build things you deal with people in the waste industry, you deal with people in construction, you probably deal with the mob, if only superficially. Again, probably not exceptionally criminal but who knows. The mob can come in handy when you need a Miss America winner with a checkered past to disappear to make room for a more wholesome version.

In reality Trump has been sued many times. He has filed bankruptcy many times. He has hired and paid undocumented workers many times. He has dealt with shady people to accomplish tasks many times. He invented a university and bilked average people of what is, to them, large sums. He is, on some level, criminal in nature, or he likely could not claim the bottom line he does.


Now we have Hilary on the opposing side. Her IT guy that set up the server has been granted immunity regarding his testimony against, or for, her and her e-mail scandal. This is the newest, latest, greatest, scandal, or criminal activity, in what is a remarkable list.

When discussing her it is hard to avoid the presence of her husband Bill as he is her partner in crime. Since I have been aware of their existence they have been accused of shady land dealings, murder, infidelity, shady finance dealings, shady campaign finance dealings, a deliberate attempt to prevent security from saving the lives of 4 Americans in Benghazi, well forget this .. here is a list I borrowed.

1. Monica Lewinsky: Led to only the second president in American history to be impeached.

2. Benghazi: Four Americans killed, an entire system of weak diplomatic security uncloaked, and the credibility of a president and his secretary of state damaged.

 3. Asia fundraising scandal: More than four dozen convicted in a scandal that made the Lincoln bedroom, White House donor coffees and Buddhist monks infamous.

4. Hillary’s private emails: Hundreds of national secrets already leaked through private email and the specter of a criminal probe looming large.

5. Whitewater: A large S&L failed and several people went to prison.

6. Travelgate: The firing of the career travel office was the very first crony capitalism scandal of the Clinton era.

7. Humagate: An aide’s sweetheart job arrangement.

8. Pardongate: The first time donations were ever connected as possible motives for presidential pardons.

9. Foundation favors: Revealing evidence that the Clinton Foundation was a pay-to-play back door to the State Department, and an open checkbook for foreigners to curry favor.

10. Mysterious files: The disappearance and re-discovery of Hillary’s Rose Law Firm records.

11. Filegate: The Clinton use of FBI files to dig for dirt on their enemies.

12. Hubble trouble: The resignation and imprisonment of Hillary law partner Web Hubbell.

13. The Waco tragedy: One of the most lethal exercises of police power in American history.

14. The Clinton’s Swedish slush fund: $26 million collected overseas with little accountability and lots of questions about whether contributors got a pass on Iran sanctions.

15. Troopergate: From the good old days, did Arkansas state troopers facilitate Bill Clinton’s philandering?

16. Gennifer Flowers: The tale that catapulted a supermarket tabloid into the big time.

17. Bill’s Golden Tongue: His and her speech fees shocked the American public.

18. Boeing Bucks: Boeing contributed big-time to Bill; Hillary helped the company obtain a profitable Russian contract.

19. Larry Lawrence: How did a fat cat donor get buried in Arlington National Cemetery without war experience?

20. The cattle futures: Hillary as commodity trader extraordinaire.

21. Chinagate: Nuclear secrets go to China on her husband’s watch.

Now regardless of your party affiliation that is one hefty list don’t you think? Certainly seems to top the list of the current candidates but, then again, she has been in politics longer than any of her opposition except Bernie, and, regarding him, her government role has been more prominent making her more of a target.

Regardless, her detractors would add to this list the fact that she just lies. They do not trust anything she says. And given time they would also add to the list her involvement in the killing fields of Pol Pot, the atrocities of the holocaust, and the decimation of Tokyo time and again by mutant creatures in the form of Godzilla and Rodan, summoned from the bowels of hell where they dwell in a waiting room Hilary and Bill are said to frequent.


I can see why one might think Hilary criminal. After all she is a crime spree in progress if you believe the reports. Bill and Hilary are Micky and Mallory of Natural Born Killers fame. If this election does not work out for her, if she somehow is finally indicted, I fully expect a cross country spree of murder and mayhem ending in her and Bill careening off a cliff holding, not one another’s hands, but reams of printed, controversial, e-mails to their respective chests and declaring their undiminished love to power, greed, and corruption.

sesqui2013_paddle_fasterSeriously though, in the wake of a list like this, and given the lack of convictions for the activities listed, it all speaks to one of two possibilities. Either these two are indeed criminal masterminds absolutely made of Teflon, hailing from the front porch of some southern shack where banjos duel on the knees of inbreds and those longing for the days of the confederacy, or, these things never really happened.

It is possible, just possible, these events were, let us say, not fictional, but exaggerated by opponents of the Clinton’s to make them seem nefarious thus diminishing their power in the eyes of the people. I know not which is true. In fact it may actually be a mix of truth and lies with facts sufficiently obfuscated by both sides as to be the equivalent of finding reality about Roswell but, truth aside. the sheer quantity of accusations makes an impact.


Far be it from me to claim any of these crimes listed above are real, or imagined. I know not, and likely will never really know. It is hard to know the intent of Godzilla as he is likely to resist questioning on the subject of his need to wantonly destroy the creations of mankind. In the end we can read the books, read the blog posts ushered out and slanted by the right and left wing viewpoints. We can then decide, which of our children we still support in the wake of their many indiscretions. Then, like a mother visiting her child on death row, filled with love as only a mother can have, we will look past these seemingly petty incidents and embrace our candidate. It is all a matter now of which candidate you can tolerate, which crime you can learn to love.




List from – http://www.washingtontimes.com/news/2015/oct/12/bill-clinton-hillary-clinton-scandals-ranked-from-/?page=all

2 thoughts on “Election 2016: Which Criminal Type Do You Prefer!!

  1. This is your best post ever. So, which criminal do I vote for? None. I will just write in Kevin Hartranft- he is the only one making sense these days.

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