I am aware that the likes of bipeds like Rush Limbaugh and Ann Coulter couldn’t care less about anyone writing negative things about them. They have a rabid fan base and make money selling hatred and bigotry regardless. But, Imagine if you will, if they bred. Imagine little Annie Limbaugh or a little Rush Coulter-Limbaugh Jr. tossing about the playground attempting to enslave the minority children and oppress the little girls. Imagine them trying to get the kids to buy into their hate filled rhetoric about the little poor and downtrodden kids needing to bring bag lunches or wear cheap clothes. Imagine that they continue on this path for all of 5 minutes until the other school children rise and slay them like the abscessed pustules they are. Imagine, all the children, living life in peace.
Rush and Ann themselves though are no better than the inbred mongrel that blows up a church of perceived inferiors to appease his perception of right and wrong. The only real difference is Rush and Ann are once removed from the act. They will sanction it, they will applaud it if it so meets their needs, but they will not do it. Rush is too fat and lazy for bombing and Ann would muss her hair. I also feel neither has the stomach for prison time. We keep too many poor and minority types in places like that for them to feel comfy.
Commonly referred to as talking heads they bill themselves as right wing conservatives. I am not so certain they are what they say they are. I am certain they make money in giant piles off of those that fancy themselves right wing conservatives. Those that are unenlightened enough to buy into what they sell anyway. But is what they sell just an act or are they saying this vile garbage day after day only for money?
“Feminism was established so as to allow unattractive women access to the mainstream of society.”
“If you feed them, if you feed the children, three square meals a day during the school year, how can you expect them to feed themselves in the summer? Wanton little waifs and serfs dependent on the State. Pure and simple.”
“Let the unskilled jobs that take absolutely no knowledge whatsoever to do — let stupid and unskilled Mexicans do that work.”
The last of which I feel sure is a reference to his job as radio host and resident prick. Apparently Rush, having realized how simple and pointless his role in society, and life, really is, decided to step down and offer it to a less fortunate immigrant worker. A truly magnanimous gesture from such an unexpected source.
“Why not go to war just for oil? We need oil. What do Hollywood celebrities imagine fuels their private jets? How do they think their cocaine is delivered to them?”
“Most public schools are, at best, nothing but expensive babysitting arrangements, helpfully keeping hoodlums off the street during daylight hours. At worst, they are criminal training labs, where teachers sexually abuse the children between drinking binges and acts of grand larceny.”
“If John Kerry had a dollar for every time he bragged about serving in Vietnam — oh wait, he does.”
The last quote sounds more like jealousy at the notion that she has done nothing of merit in her life to brag about at all.
Unfortunately, as tasteless and base as their statements are, and those above are just a cherry picked few I chose from a very well stocked pantry, when we choose to write about them like this we waste time and effort as it is simply press for them. Their own comments are so repugnant that you cannot say anything about them to make it worse. I could be sarcastic here, or write expletive strewn commentary about their existence but to them this is fuel.
They do not realize, or, more likely, they do not care, that they are feeding the rabid base of the republican party they pretend to support. They feed this mania against reason, and science, and women, and immigration, and Latinos, and health care, and humanity. They are assisting in the implosion of the republican party as they arm the ultra right inside it against the moderate aspects of it. They will continue to support the journey as the base travels further and further right, further and further from any reasonable or recognizable, opinion. To this end I support their existence.
I can find no real counterpart on the left as there seem to be none. I think Al Franken goes too far left but he doesn’t spew this garbage. Maybe one could list Bill Maher but he has tours as a comedian and isn’t really selling himself as serious. Rush and Ann do not bill as comedians, rather they espouse to have actual knowledge.
Were I a believer I could see them as the coming of the Antichrist I suppose. Then again I suppose the Antichrist would be a little more clever and not call so much attention to itself. As a believer I think I would assume them minions of Satan sent to stir the darkness that permeates the human soul. They do not wax profound or poetic on the inequities of the human condition. Instead they stamp out any ray of sunshine in a world in desperate need of it. So toast them, for they proffer sound bites to make us appalled. They offer clear and unassailable reason to loathe the right wing agenda. They give us hope that the conservative right will eat itself when they run out of moderate republicans to vilify. They give us little Rush Coulter-Limbaugh Jr.
And, Imagine, if you will, little Rush Coulter-Limbaugh Jr as he sneaks from his crib late one night. Imagine the scene, as if from Stephen Kings “Pet Cemetery,” as the small resurrected child with the twisted soul of a previously disembodied abscessed pustule climbs a chair next to the knife drawer in the kitchen. Imagine as Rush sneaks out of bed at this late hour to go to the medicine cabinet to feed his well documented addiction. Imagine, upon opening the bathroom door Rush sees his beloved Ann in a blood soaked heap, disemboweled on the floor next to the toilet where she had been throwing up in a bulimic frenzy in her effort to look as much like a skeleton as possible. Imagine, in his horror, Rush turns to run to the phone to summon help only to confront his wife’s murderer, his son. Imagine Jr, his little face twisted with rage, taught day after day to hate drug addicts and the weak sick people of this world with a venom heretofore unheard of. Imagine Jr, bathed in the rhetoric of his parents loathing for the unworthy masses. Imagine Jr, as he realizes his parents, his bulimic mother and dope addled father, are those very masses. Imagine Jr, as he plunges the knife into Rush again and again in an effort to wipe to world clean, to make the vile thoughts in his tiny puss filled brain make sense; some sense, any sense. Imagine Jr watch as Rush dials the phone in his dying, bleeding, hands. Imagine Rush as he cries out with his last breath “I need help, I need Obamacare!”
Imagine a new day dawns and there is once again sunlight, beautiful rays of sunlight, in a world that was in desperate need of it. Imagine, all the children, living life in peace.