Guns and Cars Oh My


Kevin Hartranft –

I do understand the feelings of the people in this nation that love their guns. After all the second amendment states specifically that they are not only allowed to have them but that they may actually need them. The second amendment theorizes that, if this nation is attacked by a foreign power, they will need their guns to form a militia to defeat the invaders. I certainly support the eviction of foreign invaders. Who wouldn’t?

I like guns myself you know. They are fun to own and you can shoot things with them. Things like watermelons and other gourds explode nicely when hit with a sufficiently large caliber bullet causing a Gallagher like frenzy. I like them so much so I started thinking about guns and why America and Americans support more weapons and more freedom in spite of the obvious risks. Then I thought, this is like when we invented cars.

In the beginning I am sure cars were few and far between but slowly they caught on and everybody started driving. Cars were fun, and served a purpose. People no longer had to live right next to everything as travel was now faster and easier. Our military and police quickly found uses for these new toys and so they came to be integral to government. But there was a dark cloud on the horizon.


It turned out a tiny percentage of cars were getting involved in accidents and some of those accidents caused people to die. This in turn caused some of the people to cry out that cars are unsafe, and while they may be necessary for the government to operate they are definitely not for the average person. But we, as a nation, had perspective. We knew that cars were not the problem. To this end we continued to make more cars.

Ford, and Chevrolet, and Chrysler pumped out cars in massive quantities. Roads were paved. Roads were built. Highways were built. cars grew to be in everyone’s driveway. Cars were everywhere and widely accepted. But alas, with the increase in cars came an increase in accidents. And with an increase in accidents came an increase in dead people. But still we knew as a nation that cars were safe.

'Oh, great, my insurance agent. I was just texting you.'

‘Oh, great, my insurance agent. I was just texting you.’

We knew as a nation that cars, when operated by law abiding citizens were just fine and there was no need to regulate their existence or track their ownership or behavior in any way. We knew that for people to truly be safe from car accidents, and on purposes, what we needed was more cars in more human hands. We knew that the majority of car accidents occurred when cars were operated by people that were mentally unstable, or incompetent, or even criminal. We knew to regulate, or legislate something would in no way effect mentally unstable, incompetent, or criminal people as those people pay no attention to legislation. To this end more cars were made and the critics ignored.

It was our right to own cars we said. This is America and you cannot infringe on my right to pursue happiness. Happiness is fast and elusive and to pursue it properly we would need cars just to keep pace. To keep the people happy, and in pursuit, we built more cars.

Building more cars led to more cars on the road which, in turn, led to more deaths. In 2010 in fact those deaths reached the 40,000 humans in America for the year mark. But steadfast in our beliefs we remained. Cars are fine when in the hands of competent people and to regulate some freedom because of the actions of a few criminals, and incompetents, and mentally ill humans is patently unfair. And so it remains that we currently still have cars, and we do not regulate their existence lest we violate the rights of the individual to pursue happiness ……….. Oh .. WAIT A SECOND ….. I AM RECEIVING NEW INFORMATION HERE …. OH THIS BUGGERS UP THE WORKS …

motherjonesgundeathsIt seems people that I am wrong. I am being passed new data by my research department. It seems cars are regulated. I see it says here you must register all cars you wish to  operate on public roads. You need a license to drive one? Can this be so? Yes folks, they are assuring me this is so. You will need a license which is a photo ID declaring you passed a test and that then you were deemed competent to operate the vehicle on public roads.

This is too much. How do we get away with clearly violating the rights of the people? …. Oh wait, did I type that? Anyway, it seems there are also laws about how you operate the car. If you speed or do not follow posted regulations you can be punished. Really!? OK, OK, it seems that is a yes also. In fact it seems if you are even temporarily out of it mentally, say on drugs or alcohol, and you drive, they can take away your license, and put you in prison. They can even take away your car under certain conditions. They say they do this because cars can be dangerous.

Oh people I am so sorry. This is my bad. This metaphor thing, me comparing guns and cars has fallen through. I certainly did not see this coming. It would seem that cars are dangerous sometimes so we regulate the crap out of them. We might even put you in prison or bankrupt you if you do the wrong thing when owning one. In fact there are so many rules and regulations coming from so many different directions I cannot even begin to list them all.

guns-vs-cars-222x300Did you people know they make you insure yourself and the car also? In case you get in an accident and ruin the lives of other humans they make you carry liability insurance. This mitigates the impact on the other persons existence of your oooops, unless you kill them of course.

Wow, this got out of hand fast. Again I apologize. I assure you that I am pro gun but maybe, just maybe, one can be pro gun and pro reason. I mean what is a little rational thought between friends, right? Maybe there is a little room to attempt to mitigate the damage a gun can potentially inflict while still allowing people to own and operate them. I bet, if we look real hard, we could even find an example in society somewhere.

Yeah! Think positive folks. Out there somewhere is an example of something that we use daily. Something potentially deadly in the right situation. But something we use under conditions and guidelines to mitigate these eventualities. To minimize the death and mayhem.

If only we could figure out what that something is.



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